"Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” Martin Luther King, Jr.
I feel like it is appropriate, with it being not only Black History Month, but also Valentines’ Day, to quote one of the most important people in the brief history of our country.
For me, personally, I feel that my general idea of the goodness of the world is being tested. It is so hard to look at people with love in my heart right now if they feel differently than me about current events - and that’s never been a problem for me. Ever. So I have had to do a lot of self work lately on my mindfulness skills. Whether you subscribe to religion, philosophical ideas, spirituality, mindfulness - whatever - they all have the same basic principle about judgement: don’t do it. But my goodness it isn’t easy right now. I don’t feel like I have the capacity start from love and remove judgement, but that’s exactly what I think we all need.
The human capacity for love is one of the most profound and defining aspects of our existence. Love transcends mere survival instincts, shaping our emotional well-being, relationships, and even our sense of purpose. Unlike many species, humans experience love not only as a biological imperative for reproduction and bonding but also as a deeply layered emotional and psychological experience. Love in humans takes many forms - romantic, familial, platonic, and even self-love - each influencing our lives in complex ways. What makes human love unique is our ability to reflect on it, assign meaning to it, and express it through language, art, and long-term commitments.
When compared to other species, love in humans shares some similarities but also stark differences. Many animals, particularly mammals and birds, form strong social bonds and exhibit behaviors that resemble love. For example, elephants are known for their deep emotional connections, grieving lost companions and displaying empathy. Wolves form lifelong monogamous bonds, cooperating in raising their young. Even some species of fish, like the French angelfish, stay with a single mate for life. However, while these animals exhibit attachment and companionship, they do not engage in the abstract, symbolic, or idealized aspects of love that humans do. Human love is intertwined with memory, cultural expectations, and moral choices, allowing it to extend beyond immediate survival needs into lifelong devotion, sacrifice, and meaning-making.
Neurologically, love has profound effects on the human brain and body. The experience of love activates the brain’s reward system, releasing dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin - neurotransmitters associated with pleasure, bonding, and well-being. Oxytocin, often called the “love hormone,” strengthens trust and attachment, particularly in romantic and parental relationships. Love also reduces stress by lowering cortisol levels, promoting heart health, and even boosting the immune system. However, love’s power is not always positive - unrequited love or heartbreak can activate the same neural pathways as physical pain, explaining why emotional loss can feel physically unbearable. Love, in all its forms, is not just an emotion but a fundamental force that shapes human evolution, connection, and resilience.
I am not saying that it’s appropriate to just go about our lives right now with love for every person. But if we can at least steer away from hate, and right the path of our ships toward love, maybe we can help our own mental well being just enough to push through this mess we find ourselves in. One great way to do this is with the Loving Kindness Meditation.
Loving-kindness meditation (LKM), also known as Metta meditation, is a practice rooted in Buddhist tradition that cultivates compassion, empathy, and unconditional love toward oneself and others. It involves silently repeating phrases of goodwill, such as “May you be happy, may you be healthy, may you be free from suffering,” while directing these intentions first toward oneself, then expanding outward to loved ones, acquaintances, and even to those we may struggle with or perceive as enemies. The goal is to dissolve barriers of separation and nurture a deep sense of interconnectedness.
During times of conflict in the world, loving-kindness meditation can be a powerful tool for maintaining inner peace and reducing hostility. Neuroscientific studies have shown that regular practice of LKM activates brain regions associated with empathy and emotional regulation, such as the anterior cingulate cortex and insula, while decreasing activity in areas linked to fear and negative bias. This can help individuals respond to conflict with greater emotional resilience, reducing knee-jerk reactions of anger and fear. On a societal level, fostering compassion through this practice can shift perspectives, encouraging dialogue, understanding, and nonviolent approaches to conflict resolution.
At its core, loving-kindness meditation reminds us of our shared humanity. In times of division, it can serve as an antidote to dehumanization, which is often at the root of violence and polarization. While meditation alone may not resolve global conflicts, it cultivates the kind of awareness and empathy necessary for meaningful change, both in personal relationships and in larger social movements. When practiced collectively, it has the potential to ripple outward, fostering a culture of kindness and peace in the face of turmoil.
I will be honest, I’m not entirely sure I can do it. But I have to try, for my own sanity. I hope you try too.
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